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Stuck In Relationship Rut? You Could Be In Urgent Need of 'Type Switch' - Newsweek

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When news broke that Kylie Jenner, famously the world's youngest billionaire and member of reality TV's first family, was dating award-winning actor Timothee Chalamet, the internet's jaw collectively dropped.

It seemed the unlikeliest pairing since her sister, Kim Kardashian, was with comedian Pete Davidson—not least because, well, are they even each other's type?

Indeed, we've all had our share of dating nightmares, but while some people might only recount one or two, others could fill a book. But what if rather than perpetually going for the same person, the key to dating success could be to "type switch" and go for someone more left field?

Take Jenner, who—it was reported by numerous news outlets this week including Harper's Bazaar—is happily loved up and calling ultimate beta-male Chalamet her boyfriend after six months of dating. It appears she's finally moving on from her on/off rapper ex Travis Scott, with whom she shares two young children, and musician Tyga before that.

Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet
Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet together at the U.S. Open Tennis Championship in September 2023. When news broke that Jenner, the world's youngest billionaire, was dating the award-winning actor, the internet's jaw collectively dropped. Gotham / Contributor/Getty Images

Still aren't sure? Then just look at Taylor Swift, who appears to be thriving after ditching her lineup of London boys, including actor Joe Alwyn and singer Harry Styles, for an all American hero in Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce.

Both women might have finally cracked the dating code, said dating Gabriele Reyes, who told Newsweek that "sticking to a type may have you missing out on someone wonderful." Reyes, who is also a licensed marriage and family therapist, said that people often create a type in their mind of what they are attracted to, which can create a restrictive pattern.

"Our brains go for whatever they're habituated to, but I would absolutely encourage people to date outside of their type, especially if dating within your type has been particularly awful. It can shift perspectives and change our views that are currently shaped by the people we're choosing to date," the Miami, Florida-based expert said.

That certainly appears to be what Kylie Jenner with Timothy Chalamet ("Tylie," if you will) and Taylor Swift with Travis Kelce ("Traylor," humor us) did, and let's just say, Reyes isn't anticipating a breakup album from the latter anytime soon.

"Not only are Chalamet and Kelce not Jenner or Swift's usual types, but the way the relationships are unfolding is also out of character," Reyes said. "Jenner seems more openly affectionate in a way that seems less theatrical. Her body language shows that she's enjoying herself, rather than needing to look perfect all the time. Meanwhile, Swift is being openly excited about and affectionate with Travis Kelce, so I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about them, too.

"I think this shows a growth towards feeling less pressure to live the perfect life, which will hopefully lead to a more enjoyable relationship. Feelings of safety make us throw caution to the wind, and that is always a good sign. Whether it works out or not, you're on the right track."

Swift, who was famously private with ex Alwyn, echoed that sentiment this week in a cover interview with Time magazine, as it announced her its Person of the Year.

"When you say a relationship is public, that means I'm going to see him do what he loves, we're showing up for each other, other people are there and we don't care," she said. "The opposite of that is you have to go to an extreme amount of effort to make sure no one knows that you're seeing someone. And we're just proud of each other."

Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce Waverly Inn Dinner
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have dinner at Waverly Inn on October 15, 2023 in New York City. The superstar's boyfriend has an impressive new $6 million home. Gotham/GC Images/Getty Images

It's no secret that dating is tough, with Pew Research Center revealing that 75 percent of singletons have found it hard enough to simply find people they want to date, and just 14 percent looking for something serious. But perhaps it's time to stop dipping your toe in at the shallow end of the dating pool, and instead, dive headfirst into the deep end to find out what prospects it has to offer.

This may also sound great at first, but just how are you going to explore other avenues? Reyes insists the answer is simple, because online dating is one of the best ways to get to know new people. Either download a new, or totally different app, or just amend and start filtering your preferences on the ones you already have.

"It's a step in the right direction to try something new, but one of the many steps needed. If you're unaccustomed to peace and happiness, you will feel uncomfortable and may self-sabotage to create chaos, which is the space you feel most comfortable in."

Taylor Swift Joe Alwyn Harry Styles
Taylor Swift with ex Joe Alwyn in October 2019 (left), and with Harry Styles in December 2012. Swift has previously dated British musicians and actors, including Harry Styles, Joe Alwyn and Tom Hiddleston, but she's moved on to a whole new type. Jackson Lee/David Krieger/ Bauer-Griffin/Getty Images

Why Do We Have Types?

As Reyes suggested, types are often concocted in our minds and they're usually shaped by our lived experiences. As they often say, you don't know unless you try—so how can you know that your type is the definitive answer if you haven't looked elsewhere?

Before you go and set up a bunch of dates and test if type switching is the key to your relationship problems, you also need to remember that dating and romance is about being imperfect. As relationship counselor Dr. Martha Lee explains, even our failures can provide us with valuable insights into what we want in a partner.

Gabriele Reyes and Martha Lee
Gabriele Reyes (left) and Martha Lee. Reyes is a dating expert and licensed marriage and family therapist from Florida, and Lee is a relationship counselor from Singapore. Gabriele Reyes / and Martha Lee

Lee, from Singapore, told Newsweek: "While there is no guarantee of finding the perfect partner, exploring relationships with individuals who are different from previous partners can be beneficial. Dating someone different can open up new perspectives, allowing you to learn more about yourself and what you desire in a partner."

Lee continued: "It's essential to remember that relationships are personal and unique to the individuals involved. Celebrities, like anyone else, can be attracted to people who offer different qualities, perspectives, or experiences. They may have shared experiences, values, or interests that may not be immediately apparent to outsiders."

Have you got any relationship dilemmas you want to share? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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Stuck In Relationship Rut? You Could Be In Urgent Need of 'Type Switch' - Newsweek
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