Everyone loves to be offended. In fact, being offended has become the new, unofficial pastime for most Americans on social media and in grocery aisles. Most recently, we at The Weekly received a letter from a concerned reader that we failed to fact-check a Top 10 we published about Oprah’s interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. That’s when we realized: maybe we should offer some tips to help certain readers better stomach our weekly attempt at humor. Always here to help — we offer…
Top 10 signs you are the type of person offended by The Weekly’s Top 10:
10. You’re a troll who uses a fake name on social media accounts, while referring to yourself as a “social crusader” because you can make a cat meme.
9. You like to fact-check. (Dude, we do not adhere to facts in the Top 10. It’s humor. Get on board and turn that sad frown upside down. If not for us, do it for the kids.)
8. You believe in conspiracies. (“They’re using the Top 10 to let illegals vote twice!”)
7. You insist all news is fake news. Except for the three sites you frequent on the dark web.
6. You pretend to be offended by anything The Weekly does, because you work at another media company (we know who you are).
5. You take anything and everything seriously when it fits your narrative — and then bask in your own self-affirmation alongside the eight people who like your posts.
4. You’re sober when you read the Top 10. (Not recommended.)
3. You’re offended when someone else is more offended than you. (“I’m offended that you’re more offended that they’re not offended.”)
2. You’re someone who: Despises the sound of children’s laughter, hates puppies or serves on an HOA board.
1. At some point you’ve verbally assaulted someone working for minimum wage. And when someone explained to you what a “Karen” is, you took it as a compliment.
Bonus: You just got offended because you think the term “Karen” is offensive.
(Retraction: Harry and Meghan did not get $7 million for the interview.)
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March 21, 2021 at 08:24PM
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TOP 10 SIGNS YOU’RE THE TYPE OF PERSON OFFENDED BY THE WEEKLY’S TOP 10 - Florida Keys Weekly
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